March 27th, 2025
“We eagerly signed up for what Silicon Valley was selling, but soon realized that in doing so we were accidentally degrading our humanity” -Cal Newport “Digital Minimalism”
It’s astounding how often I find myself relating to Luke Danes… wishing it was still socially acceptable to ban celI phones from places.
I recently read the book “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport, and it was pretty earth shattering for me. I have been intentionally dumbing down my phone / technology use for many years and yet still found his book to be profoundly impactful. You will read many quotes in this post that I directly wrote down with the intention of including, as I read the book. I highly recommend you give the book a read. I hope you enjoy this one, and find some helpful tips in it. I poured a lot of my heart and passion into it.
I will be the first to admit that I have always been a bit of a granny at heart. My comfort levels with technology encroaching on our lives has been slowly diminishing pretty much since the release of the iphone. Though my flip phone in high school didn’t socially look like everyone else’s, it served its purposes. You could call and text- simple.
But it wasn’t until a good 5 years into having (at the time) all the hottest social media accounts: FB, Instagram, snapchat, and spending copious amounts of time on those things, did I realize how bad things were. I was one of many millennials who got to enter into our teen years with social media being present in our lives. More than present really- a better term would be being forced into having a social presence online, or else you would be a pariah. So, reluctantly, I started a FB account at 15 years old. YIKES.
Initially I wasn’t interested, but quickly got sucked into the vortex. For a while it was pretty fun, but quickly turned into an addiction that spiraled past my control and I am still trying to unlearn and disconnect more and more from social media and mainstream technologies, 15 years later.
It’s incredible, just how much you notice when you stop to actually look around. The way people cling to their phones like life preservers, even though they are just standing in line at the grocery store. The way you can’t sit and have a conversation with someone without their phone dinging, them looking away to check it, and subsequently breaking the rhythm of the conversation. I will admit, I am at fault for all of those things, but with deep intentionality you can push past those twitches and become a more genuine individual in the process. I am going to give you some guidelines on how to do that.
“No one, of course, signed up for this loss of control. They downloaded the apps and set up accounts for good reasons, only to discover, with grim irony, these services were beginning to undermine the very values that made them appealing in the first place: they joined Facebook to stay in touch with friends across the country, and then ended up, unable to maintain an uninterrupted conversation with the friends sitting across the table. “
-Cal Newport “Digital Minimalism”
I have been slowly integrating these things into my life for many years, so be patient with yourself, it takes time!
Step one: Turn off all unnecessary notifications. Go into your iphone settings & click notifications.
No social media alerts, no amazon adds, no Netflix new releases, none of it. Turn off as many notifications as possible!
Step two: Change your text / call alerts. I personally only allow text notifications to show up as badges over the text messaging app itself. That way, they are not popping up randomly to distract me, or showing up as a banner sneakily sliding onto my screen to distract me. It forces you to be far more intentional with your time- having to open your phone to see if you have a text, rather than 1 randomly popping up and you only reading a snippet of it. Yes, you will miss texts sometimes but I have never had someone text me in an emergency-have you? It’s not a huge deal if your response isn’t immediate.
Also, I turned off all vibrations for texting, except from my husband. This way if my phone vibrates, I know it is him and I have the choice to check, for urgency sake. Going hand in hand with this is setting specific text / call ringtones for people to differentiate who is trying to reach you. I keep the tones quick, simple, and as quiet as possible. I personally can’t stand hearing other peoples phones going off, so I try to have my own sense of phone etiquette.
Our technology ridden world is already too noisy as is, don’t contribute to the mess.
Step Three: Utilize “Do not Disturb”
A step both my husband and I started implementing a few years ago was setting up both of our phones to go on “do not disturb” mode between 9pm-7am. Allowing for better sleep, and more intentional time spent together. If you are concerned about being reached, know you can adjust the settings to allow calls from specific people. Also, if a person calls 2 times in a row, the second call will go through. So urgency can still be factored in.
Step Four: No Phone Zones
-In our home the rule is no phones in bed, unless it is for a shared activity like watching a movie together. But even then, after the movie, the phone leaves the room. We both sleep with our phones in the living room- my husbands is on do not disturb, and mine is turned off all together. We live remotely, so night time is very quiet. If a call comes through, we’ll hear it.
-Another place we keep phones out of sight is the dinner table. Meals should only be shared with those at your table.
-As a new mom it became second nature when I sat down to nurse my son, I immediately picked up my phone, creating a bad habit. I no longer allow myself screen time while I nurse, creating a more intentional time spent in those fleeting moments.
-Bathrooms: let’s be honest, there is no actual need for your phone to go to the bathroom with you. Get in, get done, and be on your merry way. Let’s keep the bad habits and time wasting at bay.
Step Five: Go Old School
Buy a watch. It’s that simple, buy a plain watch that does nothing but tell the time. It gives you the ability to check the time without distractions. Along those same lines, buy a pocket sized notebook and bring it with you everywhere. I am astounded at how much I use my notebook. You’ll get used to carrying these items and will quickly begin to feel naked without them.
Step Six: Get rid of Emojis
A youtube video I highly recommend watching is “How many times can this girl say like in one sentence” by Matt Walsh. He conveys the importance of knowing how to use your words to express your emotions. Instead of aimlessly utilizing emojis to show your feelings. A crazy sounding step I know, but very impactful.
Step Seven: Monitor Screen Time / Set Limits
Your phone has a screen time setting, and it monitors where you spend the most time. Pay attention to where you are struggling, and put rules in place to help you fight those distractions. Seek out an accountability partner if it’s needed!
A very helpful app I utilize to help fight my youtube addiction is called “Focus”. It blocks whatever site that you are trying to avoid, without messing up other site usage in the process.
Personally I recomend deleting all Social Media / Streaming Apps completely. Get your phone back to as simple as my old high school flip phone.
“You cannot expect an app dreamed up in a dorm room, or among the Ping-Pong tables of a Silicon Valley incubator, to successfully replace the types of rich interactions to which we’ve painstakingly adapted over millennia. Our sociality is simply too complex to be outsourced to a social network or reduced to instant messages and emojis”.
-Cal Newport “Digital Minimalism”
Now get off here, and go outside!
Written by: Katelyn